


Close Your Eyes and Think Of Me

by misspunkrock



Category: All Time Low, Bandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Angst, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magical Realism, Male Slash, Reincarnation, Romance, Sexual Content, Slash, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:29:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misspunkrock/pseuds/misspunkrock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“I can help you.” She said simply. Her eyes seemed to looking straight inside him and he felt uncomfortable.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Leave me alone.” Alex mumbled. He drank another shot and he could feel it loosening him up. Muddying his thoughts and bringing him to a wonderful state of denial.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You have such sad eyes for someone so young. You shouldn’t know such pain yet.” She sounded European, possibly French.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to turn and completely ignore her then, but she reached forward with almost unnatural speed. She gripped his right hand firmly and didn’t let go when he tried to pull it back. She leaned closer so she could whisper in his ear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You can have him back; I can bring him back to you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The alcohol was slowing his senses so he didn’t know if he was hearing her correctly.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Or a Jalex in which Alex has strange dreams about a certain brunette and things aren't always what they appear to be</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So the dreams that Alex has are in italics in case anyone gets confused. And I have the whole story finished I'm just working out a couple kinks in the later chapters so for now here is the first installment.  
> This was supposed to be short one shot but somehow it became this...  
> The song mentioned in the beginning that they play to close is 'Dream A Little Dream Of Me' which I was surprised to find was written in the early 1930's
> 
> Disclaimer: This whole thing is sadly a bunch of lies, a work of fiction sprung from my gutter mind.

**_Prologue_ **

_“I can help you.” She said simply. Her eyes seemed to looking straight inside him and he felt uncomfortable._

_“Leave me alone.” Alex mumbled. He drank another shot and he could feel it loosening him up. Muddying his thoughts and bringing him to a wonderful state of denial._

_“You have such sad eyes for someone so young. You shouldn’t know such pain yet.” She sounded European, possibly French._

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to turn and completely ignore her then, but she reached forward with almost unnatural speed. She gripped his right hand firmly and didn’t let go when he tried to pull it back. She leaned closer so she could whisper in his ear._

_“You can have him back; I can bring him back to you.”_

_The alcohol was slowing his senses so he didn’t know if he was hearing her correctly._

****      

                                                               

 Alex woke up sweating to the darkness of his room. He ran a hand through his messy brown hair and glanced at the clock to find it was too early for any sane person to be awake. There was a burning sharp pain on the palm of his right hand. Just below his index finger and stretching across the width of his palm was a thin jagged scar; looking like someone had sliced through the skin with a small, dull pointed blade. Alex couldn’t remember how he had gotten it, probably some stupid childhood stunt. It had never hurt before but in the recent weeks it had taken to stinging so badly while he slept that he woke up almost every night from the pain. Usually it hurt the most right as he woke up and then eventually faded as he gained awareness.  He collapsed back against his pillows; the room still felt too hot. He knew he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep for a while and that made the thought of getting up for work in a couple hours all the more annoying. It also didn’t help that he had been out drinking last night and he could already feel a headache from the alcohol forming.

He had been dreaming again.

It was the fourth time that week he had been pulled from his sleep because of his dreams. He wasn’t sure how to describe them; they felt something like memories. He knew they were about someone; he wasn’t exactly sure who though. Mostly the dreams were just vague pictures and feelings; he would be holding someone’s hand or kissing soft lips.  

Or he would be lying down on grass, gazing up at a star filled sky his mind had conjured up and he would feel someone’s breath on his neck, whispering something against the skin there. And always he felt a stream of constant affection running through the dreams. Often times he couldn’t remember anything about what had happened in them when he woke up. But he remembered how he felt afterwards and it was always that soft hearted, tender feeling for whomever he was with. Again he couldn’t imagine who, he wasn’t dating anyone and hadn’t been for some time now. Which kind of made the dreams even more frustrating to Alex, like they were mocking his pathetic love life.

He could tell it was the same person in his dreams, even if he knew little to nothing about them. Whoever they were, with every dream there was the sense that this person was important.

Alex tried picturing them behind his closed eyes, trying to remember anything about them from his dreams. He was pretty sure he was dreaming about a man. If he relaxed enough he could faintly see tousled dark hair and a lazy grin in his head. Welcoming the image, he tried to remember more.

Sleep began to take him again and he gladly let himself be pulled back into it.

Then suddenly he was someone else. It was still him, Alex, just what felt like another version of him.

_He was sitting in a strange room, filled with people and the smell of cigarettes. They were all talking, some laughing and drinking. He was at a bar, leaning against the wall and drinking down his glass of whiskey. It burned a little as it went down his throat and he began to feel some of its effects, his mind beginning to blur slightly around the edges. He wasn’t sure why he let himself be talked into going out again tonight because this always happened, he would end up drinking something strong in a corner somewhere alone. That was sort of a lie though, Alex knew why he let himself be dragged back here again tonight, but he hadn’t drunk enough yet to admit it._

_Most of the girls were too shy to come and talk to him. Possibly because he looked a little disheveled with his rolled up sleeves and hair beginning to fall into his face. But it wasn’t all that surprising anyways, after all it was expected of any proper gentleman to introduce himself first and then politely engage in some decent conversation._

_Alex didn’t feel much like being a gentleman, none of the women there held his interest._

_He let his glance wander around the room and then had to bite back a gasp and clutched his glass closer to him because **he**  was finally here. His black hair was messily styled and he was wearing a white button up shirt with a black vest over it. His clothes seemed to cling nicely to his body despite the amount of layers._

_Alex downed the rest of his whiskey, unable to look away from him. The dim, intimate lighting of the bar was making **him** look more attractive._

_Fuck he had to stop thinking like that, it led nowhere good._

_But he couldn’t stop himself from noticing how confident the other man seemed. How easily he smiled at people in greeting and boldly winked, rather suggestively, at some of the girls. If Alex focused enough he could see the faint stubble of a beard on the man. Before he could stop himself, he was imagining what it would feel like if he was kissing him, whether he would feel the burn of it if he pressed their mouths together. The troubling thought made swallowing more difficult and his chest tightened. Paranoia welled up in him, like people would know what he was thinking if they looked at him._

_The man ordered his usual beer and began to drink, already laughing loudly with a couple of friends. Then he was approached by a petite redhead, her grey dress fitting the curves of her body just so, that it would have most men filled with all kinds of dirty thoughts. She tapped him on the shoulder and gave him a stern look then said something inaudible. The man smiled easily and tossed back the rest of his drink, leaving his friends to follow the woman._

_Alex knew what would happen next and the anticipation flooded him. He didn’t have to wait long. The pair appeared with another man, who completed their band by playing the piano, on the small stage at the front of the bar. This particular man had shorter sandy brown hair and a very broad, warm smile. However Alex only had eyes for the dark haired man who was now holding a guitar._

_They gave no introduction, the first few notes of a guitar filled the air and everyone quieted to hear. A barely big enough spot light hit them leaving the rest of bar to look darker, everyone’s attention being commanded towards them. Soft piano notes gradually grew louder to accompany the guitar._

_The redhead began to sing along, her smooth and alluring voice captivating the audience. However it wasn’t her Alex was entranced by, it was him. The way the heat from lights made him look more flushed, how his hands effortlessly fit over the guitar, how he gracefully strummed the steel strings and produced the most beautiful sounds. All the while with an easy and open smile on his face, like there was nowhere and nothing else he would rather be doing than playing music in this shabby bar._

_Alex was drawn closer and closer to the stage, he got as close as he could without being seen. He could watch the man play for hours he thought. This was the reason he was here every night so he could experience this. That wonderful feeling that would sneak and settle into his bones as the notes wove together in breathtaking melodies. It was an indescribable feeling, it began in his chest and dropped down to his stomach making him feel like he was at home, the music wrapping around him and going through him. It was part of why he was so in awe of the man, he produced this, he made Alex feel this way with every strum on the guitar and Alex loved every second of it._

_At one point they played a faster song, a more upbeat one. The energy in the air palpably went up, only to be skillfully faded back into a different song. After a few moments Alex recognized what tune they were playing, recently they had started playing this one to end their shows. They had changed it a bit from the original, making it slower and a bit more dramatic at times. But their performances were always like this, no other musicians ever quite asserting such a stage presence and warping other songs uniquely to make them their own. The redhead quietly began the first notes, her voice growing louder as the song continued._

_Far too soon they finished performing and the music stopped, they thanked everyone for listening and left the stage. Disappointment at it being over prompted Alex to order another shot of whiskey. He decided to stay and look at the man a bit longer, just until he finished his drink. As he waited for it he tried not to think about how creepy that sounded._

_Then he felt someone slide against him and in a breathless voice ask the barman for another beer. Alex stilled with shock as he realized it was him. He could smell the sweat on the man and fuck that shouldn’t be enticing yet somehow it was.  He knew it was ridiculous but slight hysteria at being so close to the man made the space feel too small. Not waiting for his drink to arrive, he turned to leave._

_Unfortunately, other patrons had noticed the man and had begun to gather around to compliment his performance, which made Alex’s escape much more difficult. In his attempts to leave as fast possible, he ended up fumbling into a blond woman causing her to spill her drink all over the black dress she was wearing which then caused her let out an indignant cry._

_Everyone, including the man, turned to look at the small commotion with confusion and Alex blushed madly and stuttered out an apology to the blonde._

_Now even more desperate to get away, he hastily made his way towards the back of the bar and into the narrow hallway that led to the street outside.  Thankful to be alone he slumped against the wooden wall and ran his hands through his brown hair and tried to calm his racing pulse. Another wave of embarrassment hit him as he realized that was how the man was going to know him, as a stuttering idiot who made a complete ass out of himself. Alex melded himself closer to the wall, hoping it could somehow envelope him and erase the night._

_And of course that was too much to hope for because soon he heard footsteps. It was probably Zack coming to make sure he was okay. Alex was fully prepared to tell him to piss off. He raised his head as whoever it was rounded the corner and came into the hallway. It wasn’t Zack. His cheeks burned red as he saw unmistakable dark hair and piercing brown eyes fixed on him._

_“Are you okay? “ he asked in a low voice and Alex’s response was to stare because hewas actually talking to him and all Alex could do was look at those full lips; the embarrassment and sudden desire robbing him of any speaking capabilities._

_It must have shown on his face because then a smirk appeared on the man’s features and he didn’t say anything else; just walked closer to where Alex was standing. As soon as he was near enough he simply pulled Alex through the rest of the little hall and out the back door into the cobblestone alley._

_The cool night air hit Alex’s face and he let himself enjoy it, he felt too hot from being touched by the dangerously attractive man. Then he was being pushed against the brick wall of the bar, embarrassment forgotten as his personal space was invaded. He felt a warm body press up against him, holding him to the wall as a pair of lips made their way to his ear._

_“You know, I keep seeing you around here and I didn’t think much of it. Most of the guys hang around, hoping to talk to Clara. And Rian usually leaves after we finish playing. Then I noticed you’re always looking at me with those big brown eyes of yours.”_

_Absently, Alex realized Clara must be the singer and Rian the piano player. He couldn’t speak. His words stuck in his mouth to protest as he felt those lips begin to kiss below his ear. All he could do was whimper when he felt a hot tongue begin to press against his flushed skin. He didn’t so much as hear but feel the chuckle the man let out at Alex’s obvious want of this, of him._

_For just a moment, he let himself revel in the feel of being crowded against the wall, of two arms on either side of his head and feeling **his**  mouth drag across his skin. As it turned out he could feel the slight burn of stubble as the man pressed his face further into Alex’s neck._

_What if someone came out and saw them like this? Two men together like this?_

_Panic that had been momentarily pushed aside by desire flared up again and Alex gained enough sense of mind to reach up and give the man a push away._

_But he simply grabbed Alex’s wrists and held them between the two of them, up against Alex’s chest. He pulled back enough to look Alex in his face and smiled at what he saw there._

_“I know you want this. I could see it in your eyes every time you looked at me. I can feel it now.” He put emphasis on the word feel and pushed his leg between Alex’s. Sure enough he could feel Alex beginning to harden in his hold._

_It wasn’t as if Alex could deny it. His body was betraying his want and there wasn’t much room to hide anything in the nonexistent space between their bodies._

_“I don’t even know your name.” Alex managed to whisper back as he met the man’s intense gaze._

_That devilish smile widened on his face and he looked at the nervous man with a hungry almost predatory expression. He tightened his grip on Alex’s wrists and shoved them up above his head and held them against the wall. Leaning in his nose brushed against Alex’s and his mouth hovered mere millimeters over Alex’s wanting lips._

_Alex didn’t dare move, stuck between the fear of being caught, to run away from this alarming intoxication or to push back into the man and finally taste that mouth. The decision was shortly made for him._

_“The name’s Jack.”_

_He spoke seductively and with confidence, like he knew exactly how crazy he was driving the caramel haired man by just a few touches. And then Alex’s heart was trying to beat out of his chest as Jack wasted no time in crushing their mouths together in a hot and hurried first kiss._

The harsh blare of his alarm startled Alex awake and he opened his eyes, his heart still racing from the dream. His scar was biting at his skin, the pain worse than it had ever been and he forced himself to take deep breathes until it subsided to a dull ache he could ignore.

 For once this dream had been different because he could remember what had happened. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was suddenly able to remember this particular dream. At the same time though he was weirdly happy he knew who the mystery person was. Currently he didn’t know any Jacks, definitely no one who was as attractive as he had been; which was too bad really. Alex wouldn’t mind dating a guy like him. The feel of that hot mouth against his wouldn’t leave him.

 The latest dream had also left him feeling….unsettled? Not just because his scar had caused him more pain than usual but this dream had left a sort of weight in his stomach. He wasn’t sure how to describe it, it was a mixed emotion of a rush of adrenaline and anticipation and excitement with fear all combined together and making his stomach feel all knotted.

His alarm started ringing for the second time rudely reminding him he needed to get out of bed and into something at least semi clean if he wanted to make it to work on time. It was already 9 and he had to open the store today by 9:30. He mentally shook himself and shoved aside the troubling feeling.

After what felt like forever hunting his room for something to wear, he barely managed to style his hair into something that wasn’t a tangled mess, swallow a couple aspirin for his hand and slight hangover, momentarily languish over the fact he wouldn’t have time to make coffee and slip on some sneakers before he was out the door. He had noticed Rian’s jacket was still missing from the small stand by their door and figured he must have spent the night at Cassadee’s again.  The two had been getting awfully close lately and he wondered if they would be moving in together. Things certainly appeared to be headed in that direction. It would kind of really suck trying to find a new roommate; Rian was pretty fucking great and one of his closest friends.

 Then he realized it was pointless to be thinking about his friend’s relationships when he still really needed to get to work already. So, with that thought in mind, he quickly turned to take the elevator and saw the obnoxious yellow work notice that said it was still out of order.

Looks like it was the stairs for him again. It could be worse he supposed, he could live on the fifth floor instead of the fourth.  As he half ran down the stairs in his rush, he muttered curses about his shitty ass building and its shitty ass landlord. He also decided he would never understand the appeal of exercise.

Stumbling down the last few steps he thanked small blessings he had parked closer to the stairs yesterday and didn’t have to walk more than a few feet to get to his car.

Once he was in the car he fiddled with the radio stations until he found something he liked, Blink-182 started to pour through the old speakers. His mood started to lighten at the familiar tune. Tapping his fingers against his steering wheel to the beat he made the short drive to the record store he worked at. The store was called Vinyls&Such, it wasn’t a large place and it had comfortable mellow vibe to it. The job itself was descent, mostly customer service things, the pay was alright and he got an employee discount which was good because he wanted to buy about half the store. He had his eye on one of the acoustic guitars they had started selling.

 Music had always been a passion for him so to be able to work in a place surrounded by it was actually pretty great. During college he had tried to start a couple of bands but nothing had stuck, so the record store was a close enough second. In the back of his mind he toyed with the idea of being a solo artist but he never gave it too much thought. If he was being honest with himself it was because he wasn’t sure he had the courage to put himself out there like that, it was too easy to fail.

He reached the store only a few minutes late, with it being a Tuesday morning it wasn’t like there were any potential customers waiting so it didn’t really matter. Business usually wasn’t very busy during the beginning of the week so it was just him there until four when Zack would come in and take the evening shift. Zack was a nice enough guy, it was easy for them to bond over music and they had grabbed more than a couple drinks outside of work together. One of those times Rian had come with them and Alex had gotten smashingly drunk. He had woken up with a hangover so bad he was sure his head was actually trying to kill him. To this day he still isn’t sure why he had also woken up shirtless that morning, his tight fitting jeans seeming to stick uncomfortably to his legs, with food crumbs and what could only be described as some kind of light blue paste covering random patches of his body. He was pretty sure Rian has pictures of it somewhere, pictures that really needed to be found and burned.

The day as Alex had predicted was passing by slowing. Only a few people came in to look at a couple records and buy some guitar strings. For the sake of something to do he made sure the CD’s were in the right order, then rearranged the small counter below the register twice. He sat down on the small wooden stool behind the register and thoughtlessly started tracing music notes onto the counter. Eventually in his boredom his thoughts wandered back to the newest dream.

It hadn’t struck him when he first woke up where the dream had taken place but he was thinking about it now. The bar he had been in had looked well older, something from one of those classic black and white movies. There were the people with their dark suits and modest dresses looking like they were from another time too, the early 1900’s maybe? Hell if Alex knew, he didn’t exactly follow historical fashion trends. In any case, he found it odd he was dreaming about the early time period.

 His thoughts turned to the dark haired man. Jack, that’s what his name had been. It was strange how much he affected Alex in his dreams. He closed his eyes and tried to picture him again, how he held his guitar, how his music had made him feel. That was something that made him more attractive to Alex, how well he knew his way around that guitar.

His lack of sleep was making itself known as he started dozing off at the counter, the faint twang of a guitar echoing in his ears.

****

 

_Alex looked over his shoulder one more time as he walked towards the woods. The chilly morning air caused him to shiver slightly. Although because it was a Sunday morning anyone who was awake should be in church by now, should being the operative word. Once he was satisfied there was indeed no one around to see where he was going he ventured deeper into the trees and followed the unmarked path to the lake._

_He was sort of surprised not more people knew about the small lake. But then again most everyone these days were distracted by what was sure to be a coming war with Germany and all that trouble with the factory jobs. No one had much time for exploring the woods, and it was not as though the lake produced anything useful, it was just…there, providing a simple beauty to the otherwise predictable green landscape of the woods._

_Not much time passed until he reached their place, that was what he had started referring the spacious grassy bank as: their spot. With a quick glance around he saw Jack hadn’t gotten there yet, he hoped Clara and Rian weren’t getting too suspicious. Alex’s stomach tightened with anxiety at the thought, what if they figured it out? Neither of them was stupid they had to wonder where it was Jack kept disappearing to._

_He lay down on the grass, his feet a little ways off from the clear water. One of the larger trees shaded him from the morning sun. Closing his eyes he brought his arms up to cross behind his neck so he could rest his head against them, trying to relax. He knew they were careful to never be seen; that didn’t change the fact they could be caught. Someone would realize their eyes lingered on each other in ways that weren’t entirely friendly or maybe they would notice a subtle touch. The distressing feeling was constantly at the back of his head, twisting in his stomach, never giving him a moment’s peace._

_Because he knew what would happen if someone caught them._

_Fear mixed with the already growing anxiety and he felt a frown become permanently etched on his face as he failed the push the anxiety away._

_He was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear the quiet footsteps approaching him. Which made it all the more surprising when he suddenly felt the familiar pair of lips settle gently on his own, brushing over his cheek._

_“What are you thinking about?” Jack’s voice was soft as he pressed kisses down his jaw and up to by his mouth again. Opening his eyes he realized the brunette was leaning over him on his hands and knees. Both of Jack’s hands were on either side of his face, almost cradling his head.  He pulled lightly at Alex’s bottom lip with his teeth, opening his mouth up and kissing him thoroughly; stopping too soon for Alex’s liking._

_“Well?”_

_He replied just as softly._

_“Nothing I..it’s nothing.”_

_He didn’t feel like sharing his increasingly negative feelings with Jack, he didn’t want him to think he regretted this. It was the best thing in a long time to have happened to him. Besides Jack was so carefree, he didn’t worry as much about their relationship and if he did he was good at hiding it._

_Jack frowned and raised his head away from Alex to look at him properly to observe the nervous tension in the other’s face. His eyes never rested on Jack for too long._

_“I think you’re lying to me.” Jack said decisively._

_Alex sighed and brought one of his hands up to Jack’s face, his thumb running over his cheekbone. Jack leaned into the touch and let his eyes close._

_“It’s just…what are we doing Jack?”_

_Jack’s brown eyes opened to reveal confusion._

_“What do you mean?”_

_Alex sounded tired as he responded, exhaustion from feeling paranoid all the time starting to leak through his words._

_“I mean how can we stay together when there can never be a future for us?” He paused before he spoke his last thought, lowering his voice even more._

_“I…I feel like this can only ever end badly. We can never really be together, we can never tell anyone and I’m afraid...I’m afraid we’re going to wake up one day and think this was all just a huge mistake .” Once the words were out Alex flushed with embarrassment. They hung in the air between them like a weight and he immediately thought they sounded stupid. After about a minute of silence he hesitantly looked back up at Jack and was surprised when he saw a kind of determination in his eyes._

_“Fuck the future.” He said as if it was the simplest thing in the world._

_Alex’s eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to scold him for taking the issue lightly when Jack started speaking again, steadfastly bent on saying whatever it was and not letting Alex speak until he was finished._

_“No, I’m being serious. Both of us could be called into the draft or fall over dead from a fever. And I refuse to spend whatever time I have left on this earth miserable because of a damned ignorant society. You won’t convince me to think differently. And-“he wavered slightly, “this, how I feel about you, you can’t tell me that it’s a mistake.”_

_He looked unflinchingly into Alex’s eyes and Alex couldn’t, even if he tried to, look away. Warmth flooded his veins at Jack’s words. He knew no other response than to use the hand that was already on his face to pull him back down into a kiss._

_“I wish things could be different.” He breathed more to himself before Jack’s lips were once again on his. There was an almost desperate edge to the kiss as their tongues began to roughly lick into the others mouth, memorizing every breath and swallowed gasp._

“Alex are you okay?” 

A loud voice was breaking though his sleep fogged mind. He managed to open his eyes to find Zack shaking him awake. The scar on his hand was painfully tingling from the short dream. That was what really made him come to, that god awful burning sensation making itself known again.

He brought himself up to a sitting position and looked around with some confusion, expecting to see Jack and the grassy shore.   _Record store_ his mind helpfully supplied,  _your JOB, the one you can’t afford to lose._

Alarm brought him to full alertness and he looked back at Zack.

“Shit what time is it? Is it four already?”

Concern was evident on Zack’s face as he replied.

“Yeah, just a little after. Have you been sleeping this whole time?”

“No! I swear I just...fuck I don’t know. I didn’t get any sleep last night and nobody had come in for a couple hours and I was bored out of my mind and…” he let his sentence trail off with a flail of his hand, hoping it somehow conveyed an explanation.  He wasn’t quite sure what had happened himself, it didn’t feel like he had been asleep for very long. If anything he felt more tired than before.

But Zack, being cool and laid back Zack, smiled in understanding.

“Yeah we did have kind of a late night yesterday, I forgot how much of a lightweight you can be.”

At that Alex frowned and glared when he spoke again. The pain from his scar was pulsing away far too slowly plus and it was making him more irritable. Besides Rian and Zack were always teasing him about how they  _thought_ he couldn’t hold his liquor and it never failed to annoy him.

“Piss off, I am not. I didn’t even drink that much last night.”

All Zack did was laugh. “Sure you aren’t Alex, you keep telling yourself that.”

Alex flipped him off as he got up to from the stool which only made Zack laugh again as he called out to him.

“You can’t hide from the facts!”

 Still disoriented from the dream he couldn’t think of any kind of retort, at least one that sounded good. So he ignored Zack and continued his way to the back room and to get his things and leave. On the way out he was stopped by a hand grabbing his elbow and he turned back around.

“Rian and I were going to go out and get some drinks later, you wanna come? I promise to keep the teasing to a minimum.”

The frown hadn’t quite left Alex’s mouth yet, he  _could_  hold his alcohol damn it. “I don’t know man like I said I feel really tired.”

“Well listen, it’s not going to be for a few more hours, go home get some sleep and think about it yeah?” Zack asked.

“Fine, alright.” He conceded with a shrug.

“Great, I’ll talk to you later.” Zack turned to go back to the register.

“Yeah, see you.” he waved a hand over his shoulder in goodbye and left, the bell tingling as the door shut behind him.

The weather was cloudy and a weak wind was pushing past his face and through his hair as he walked back to his car. He rested his head against his hands on the steering wheel and closed his eyes once he sat down in the driver’s seat. His keys clinked together from where they dangled in his hand.

He felt more than a little unsettled. It was like the uneasy feelings he felt in his dreams never really left when he woke up. What made it seem more surreal was that for a few seconds before he opened his eyes he had been expecting Jack to be hovering over him instead of Zack. Plus it was also disconcerting to feel like he had dozed off for just a few minutes only to have it be a few hours in reality.

 _Trouble with Germany and something about a war,_ he remembered from the dream. So…what? Did that mean his dreams were taking place around the time of world war two? All he could recall from his history education was that world war two had started in the early 1940’s.

 Suddenly his phone was ringing and buzzing noisily from his pocket, effectively cutting through his thoughts. After pulling it out he checked the ID to see that Rian was calling and answered.

“Hey, what’s up?” Alex suspected he was calling to tell him about the plan to go out with Zack later that night.

“Nothing much, I’m still over at Cassadee’s but I was going to head out tonight with Zack and I think you should come.” Rian’s voice sounded a bit muffled through the phone speaker.

“Yeah Zack already told me all about it and like I told him I’m not sure. I’m not really…” he struggled in trying to find the right words to describe how he currently felt. He wasn’t sure there was a word for it, “feeling that well.” he finished lamely.

“Ah come on Alex, all three of us haven’t hung out together in a long ass time, please?”

He shifted up to lean his head against the back of the seat and look up at the car’s ceiling and considered it. Rian had a point, it had been awhile since the three of them had gone out, and an even bigger upside was that it might even distract him from all this dream bullshit. With that in mind he didn’t wait any longer to answer.

“Okay I’ll be there, where were you guys going to go?”

“Awesome, we were thinking about trying out that new bar that opened up down the street from Zack’s place. Don’t worry about trying to find it; I’ll pick you up in around nine. Sound good?”

“Yeah sounds like a plan, tell Cassadee I say hey.”

“I will, and no backing out last minute.”

He chuckled a little as he replied, “I won’t, promise. I’ll see you later then.”

“See you later.”

The dial tone sounded loudly in his ear and he hung up. His spirits felt somewhat lifted, he was pretty much guaranteed a better night knowing Zack and Rian.

Cursing the stairs again when he reached his building he made sure to give the yellow work notice an especially dirty look and started the trip back up to his apartment. The whole ordeal ended up making him feel more tired. He shuffled up the last couple of stairs and it took a couple tries to get his key in the lock.

With a few more faltering steps to his room he toed of his sneakers before falling into bed. Not even bothering to change or get under the sheets he adjusted the pillow and wasted no time in falling back asleep. He smiled a little as he considered that maybe he would dream about Jack again. A tiny ripple of affection for the imaginary man went through him as he sank further into unconsciousness. 

****

 

_They shouldn’t be doing this here, Alex half thought as the rough bark of the tree bit into his back._

_Jack had deftly undone the buckle on his belt and slipped his hand inside to touch Alex. His warm fingers, calloused from playing guitar, gripped him lightly and stroked teasingly. Pre-come was already leaking out of the tip and Alex was a little embarrassed at being so close._

_But then Jack’s lips were sucking on his neck again and biting hard enough that it was dancing on the line between pleasure and pain. He couldn’t hold back the whimper as he felt Jack’s tongue drag across the abused flesh. He was holding onto Jack’s shoulders, at a glance it would probably just look like Alex was hugging Jack very tightly. If they were to look closer however it would be obvious that Jack was torturing him in the best way possible with the clever flicks of his wrist._

_“Please Jack I…I need more.” He tried to thrust into Jack’s fist to get that little extra edge that would send him headfirst into his orgasm. Jack smiled against his neck and his breath huffed out into a laugh, refusing to give Alex what he wanted._

_“Patience Lex, I want to enjoy this. I love having you this way, needy and begging for it.” He stopped talking long enough to move his mouth to the shell of Alex’s ear. His voice sounded slightly deeper and breathy. “I like feeling you come undone and know it’s because of me.” The words dropped heavy and hot in Alex’s stomach._

_“F-fuck” Alex moaned in responsive, it was the only thing he could manage to say. He cursed again loudly when Jack rubbed his thumb over the head of his cock, sliding his hand back down and coming up again to repeat the process. Jack started whispering to him again. “Shh, you’re being too loud.”_

_Alex tried to stifle back his groans and bite his lip but he couldn’t help letting some of the noises burst out. It felt like too much and not enough. Words kept leaving through his clenched teeth in no discernible order. “Shit… Jack your hand…I can’t….fuck…I…I need…so fucking good..”_

_“One day we’ll do this right, no one will be able to bother us and I’ll get to hear every single fucking moan of yours but until then.” He punctuated the statement by sealing their lips together, muffling every gasp. He tasted and tongued what felt like every inch of Alex’s mouth, he raised his other hand to angle Alex’s head and deepen the kiss._

_Then Jack finally started to stroke him in earnest. His long warm fingers curled around his cock tighter creating a hot and slick space for Alex to thrust into.  There wasn’t much Alex could do to hold on and not to lose himself entirely to the onslaught of sensation._

_Too soon it felt like he coming, he closed his eyes and felt the desperate moan aching to leave his throat into the open air. Instead it went directly into Jack’s mouth. Jack slowed his hand down to work him through the aftershocks. Alex felt boneless and could barely open his eyes. He was vaguely aware of Jack working open his own trousers, stroking fast and hard to get himself off. He made an abortive gesture to help Jack yet couldn’t find the energy._

_So he settled for letting Jack push his face into his neck where he had been biting into it earlier. Alex held him close while he muttered between catching his breath and pressing light kisses to Jack’s shoulder._

_“C’mon Jack, want to see you come. I want to feel it. “_

_Jack came with a shudder and a gasp, panting heavily against the brown haired man. They both had each other’s cum messily decorating their clothes; Alex couldn’t be bothered to care at the moment._

_It was that time before night completely ended and early morning began; the world almost a dark grey with a few stars still visible. He absently gazed up that the sky; the chill in the air cooled the sweat on his forehead.  Jack mumbled something from where he was slumped against him._

_“What did you say?”_

_“I said tree sex is goddamn fantastic.”_

_Alex laughed, bringing one of his hands up to run his fingers through Jack’s dark hair._

_“I don’t know we might have to try it again to be sure.”_

_This time Jack laughed as he responded, “Later I don’t think I can go again yet.”_

_Alex hummed contentedly back, happy to simply lean against the bumpy tree bark and hug Jack close to his body._

_He knew it was naïve of him to think it, but a part of him fervently wished he could stay here with Jack. Grasping him tightly and feeling the soft strands of his hair fall through his hands, the smell of salt and sex clinging onto them. In a very deep corner of his mind, a place he refused to acknowledge because it would only hurt more to face it, he realized he loved Jack and all he wanted was the chance to be with him and not have to hide. To actually tell people that Jack was his and to hold him whenever he wanted to, everyone else be damned._

_Looking up at the lightening sky he could pretend, just for a little while, that he could. He could stay here holding Jack for as long as he wanted and nothing would bother them._

“Jack…” Alex breathed the name, not fully awake.

He opened his eyes; the dream was stuck in his mind. Despite that, with a quick glance downwards he saw that yes he really had just come all over his sheets while he slept. Awesome, laundry was going to be fun.

 What was strange though was as he started dreaming more, the more time it seemed to take for the burn in his palm to leave. The scar sent out little bursts of sharpness, extending to his fingertips. That coupled with the fact he again woke up feeling like he hadn’t slept at all put him in an annoyed mood. And those weren’t even the only pains he felt.

His chest hurt remembering the dream, remembering how badly his dream self had wanted to stay with Jack. It was beginning to get ridiculous how he was actually starting to feel something real for what had to be a figment of his imagination.

A shiver passed through his shoulders as he recalled how much more vivid this dream had been; the incredible pleasure of Jack’s hand on him, his entire body calling out for release. Then feeling his heart deepen with affection when Jack had come against him; leaning heavily on him and being pressed together.  An ache in his chest flared up remembering how the happiness he felt was tinged dark by the fact that it couldn’t last.

No, he needed to stop thinking about that. Certainly it wouldn’t help to keep thinking about the dreams so Alex resolved to ignore about them, starting with this last one. It was nice to be able to escape to them every now and then but now that they were beginning to affect his waking life and it needed to stop.

He sat up and groped around for his phone to see the time; there was still some time before Rian was supposed to come get him so he got up and started to get ready. Hastily he ripped off the dirtied sheets and threw them in with the rest of dirty clothes, deciding to deal with them later.

 Digging through his clothes he found some black skinny jeans and a dark blue plaid shirt. After pulling on the clothes he walked into the kitchen, hoping to further distract himself from his newfound feelings by finding something to eat.

There really wasn’t much of anything, some stale cereal and a box of few days’ old pizza followed by some questionable milk. Alex sighed. Oh well, it’s not like he had been expecting anything different; neither him nor Rian were known for their culinary skills. Ah the life of a bachelor. Settling on the pizza he resolutely decided to not think about exactly how many days it had been in here( it couldn’t have been more than…four?). His phone chirped loudly from his pocket after the second slice with a new message from Rian.

**Get your ass moving down those stairs now because I am not waiting**

Alex smirked as he read the message and grabbed his jacket. A bit of excitement to go out with Rian and Zack shot through him. And if he ended up drinking too much in an attempt to forget about the dreams well, that was just a problem for tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the second part, there will be one more part after this and then I think the story will be done  
> And as always every comment is appreciated so please let me know your thoughts!

_****_

_“Why do you always use the same song to close every night?  You never did that before.”  Alex wondered aloud, his fingers slotting easily with Jack’s._

_Jack continued staring up at the darkening sky; a thoughtful expression on his face._

_“Do you want me to answer honestly?”_

_“Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?”_

_Jack chuckled lightly and responded. “Well, the answer is weird if you think about it.”_

_Alex turned his head to the left to look at Jack, more curious to know the answer._

_“Then I’ll try not to think about it.”_

_Jack hesitated for a moment. “You.”_

_“Me? You know, that sounds weird even if you don’t think about it.”_

_Jack laughed louder this time and gave a squeeze to Alex’s hand._

_“Well Clara had already had us learn it because she fell in love with it the second she heard it and then that first night we played it to close I…that was when I noticed you.”_

_“What?” Alex’s voice might have pitched higher with the word because it was one thing to admire Jack from afar but it was entirely different thing if he knew Alex was doing it the entire time. Jack just smiled back at him and turned on his side so he could fully face the other man. Their hands rested on the grass between their chests, Jack now propped up on his other elbow._

_“What I mean is just when I first really noticed you, I saw I don’t know…how much the music meant to you? It was when we were finishing up and playing that song and something just sort of clicked and I realized that I really wanted to kiss you. And now when I hear that song I remember that moment and I think of you.” Jack paused. “That sounds stupid but-“Alex cut him off by reaching up and placing a firm kiss on his lips._

_“It’s not that stupid.” He reassured. What was stupid was how Jack was able to say something like that casually and it made him feel like a blushing fourteen year old girl._

_Jack looked thoughtful again. “Well then I saw your ass and I definitely had some feelings then.”_

_Alex laughed and leaned up again._

_“You’re an idiot.” And then he placed his lips back on Jack’s smiling ones. The affection he felt for the brunette made his heart feel like it was swelling._

_****_

Everything was too fucking bright. They had all crashed at Zack’s place last night and were now eating a very late breakfast at an older diner that Zack swore made the best coffee. Alex felt sweat sticky and gross from wearing the same clothes from the night before. He could barely remember his dream too, some snippets of conversation and mostly feeling…happy. He might have given that more thought but then his hang over reared its ugly head again. Why had they thought it was a good idea to actually go outside?

Every sound was too loud and every smell was making Alex’s stomach curl with nausea. He slumped further into the booth at the run down diner; folding his arms on top of the plastic tabletop and resting his head on them. In the back of his mind he hoped the table was clean, there was a suspicious looking stain close to his cheek. Then something else would cause the ringing pain in his head to crash forward again and he honestly couldn’t care less about the table anymore.

 Rian and Zack exchanged looks and barely managed to stifle their giggles at Alex’s hung over state.

“Drink too much last night Alex?” Rian asked around a growing smile. Bastard. Alex groaned and something that sort of sounded like  _shuddap_  came out of his mouth. That of course was Zack’s cue to join in.

“Hey, don’t make fun of him Rian we both knew after that third beer he was going to end up like this, hell we thought he was going to be  _worse._ ” The amusement was obvious in his tone and Alex lifted his hand to gesture in Zack’s general direction.

“Punch you in the dick.” He mumbled.

“No need for violence, we’re only stating facts.” Rian continued, starting to laugh more. Alex turned to point at him now.

“Punch  _you_  in the dick.”

 _Swear to god if one of them says the word lightweight_ , Alex thought darkly. And now all this hand waving was making his head hurt even more. Alex wasn’t sure how that was even possible; apparently hang overs could do that.

“You just need to know your limits Alex, next time try ordering one drinks maybe two if you are feeling brave.” Zack said trying to sound serious and failing. Alex tried to glare from where he was still resting his head.  

“Punch  _everybody_  in the-“

“Heard someone talking about dicks over here?” A familiar baritone voice asked.

Alex recognized the voice; only the last time he could clearly remember it, it was sultry and low, whispering into his ear as slender fingers got him off.  Very hesitantly he lifted his head and stared blankly at the man before him. Complete shock froze him and sobered him up.

It was Jack.

Clearly he was still drunk, or dreaming. Alex looked around the diner, expecting it to be 1940 and for Jack to catch his eye and wink. A look around however confirmed this was reality and even more so Jack didn’t look the way Alex had gotten used to seeing him.

For one there was a streak of blonde contrasting the rest of his dark hair. He was wearing a grey, slim fitting t-shirt with blue jeans to match, a black apron slung low on his hips. The smirk on his face though, that was almost painfully familiar.

“Jack! What the hell are you doing here? I haven’t seen you in fuck…a year, year and a half?” Zack was talking to him and Alex still couldn’t stop gaping like the most awkward human being in the world. Now looking from Zack’s excited face to Jack’s.

“Ah well you know, couldn’t spend all my time playing crappy clubs and drinking.”

“Oh that’s right, last I heard from you, you were touring with that blonde, wasn’t she your new singer?”

Jack smiled a bit sheepishly and ran a hand through his dark hair, Alex hungrily following the movement with his eyes.  Jack was  **real**  and standing in front of him, looking unbelievably beautiful.

“Yeah well you could say it didn’t really work out…”

Zack surprised him with another laugh. “Shit Jack another one? How many times have you lost a vocalist now? Let me guess you slept with her, got bored and the “exciting tour life” wore off and it ended badly?”

“You make it sound so bad when you put it like that.” Jack chuckled and shrugged. “But really it wasn’t working out for either of us, she left and I came back here to Baltimore; plus I know you really missed me so.”

“You got me there. And this whole waiter look you got going on is really working for you.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jack responded with a laugh of his own and Alex closed his eyes and replayed the sound.

The whole time Rian had looked confused and unlike Alex made an attempt like a normal person to join the conversation.

“Well since Zack is a rude ass I’ll just introduce myself. I’m Rian and this guy who won’t stop talking about dicks is Alex.” He gestured over to Alex and offered his hand and a friendly smile to Jack. Zack made a small noise of protest at being called rude.

Jack returned the smile and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you guys. I’m Jack.” He glanced over at Alex, where he still hadn’t gotten up into at least an upright position, and gave him an easy grin.

Alex’s stomach dropped and he wasn’t any closer to saying actual words.  It still wasn’t computing that Jack was here, he was flesh and blood and dangerous smiles and  **real**. He wasn’t really aware when Zack started speaking again.

“Yeah I work with Alex at that record store a few blocks from here.  It’s got some pretty great stuff I know you would like, you should come by and check it out sometime.”

“Oh yeah? Maybe I will. Anyways you guys going to order something or what?” He pulled a pen and pad from his back pocket and started writing down what Rian and Zack wanted. Eventually they all turned to look at Alex, waiting.

Alex apparently had temporarily checked out mentally because his fucking dream had somehow come to life and was now staring at him looking expectant. He looked blankly back at all of them.

“Dude you okay? You’re still not looking too good.” Rian questioned, nudging him with his elbow to try and snap Alex back to reality. It didn’t have the desired effect. A couple more silent minutes ticked by and Alex knew he needed to say something, anything.

“I...uhm…” and wasn’t that just the wittiest thing to begin with.

“Well look if you think of something let me know.” And with that Jack turned to walk back to the kitchen; the motion finally seeming to register with Alex, Jack was leaving and Alex needed to stop him. Quickly he straightened up and shouted the first thing that came to mind.

“Pancakes!”

He blushed bright red as he realized he just shouted pancakes in a nearly empty diner.  How had this become his life?

Jack faced their booth again and laughed a little, he met Alex’s embarrassed stare. For a second time he looked into those very real brown eyes. Jack looked more amused than weirded out which Alex counted as positive.

“Alright, an order of pancakes coming up.” This time he reached the back without anymore outbursts.

Rian and Zack stared at him before they cracked up with a fresh bout of laughter.

“What the hell was that man?” Rian asked.

Alex dropped his head back onto his hands, his cheeks burning hotly and his shirt suddenly feeling too tight.

“I wasn’t kidding about punching both of you in the dick.” 

More than anything Alex just wanted to go back to his apartment and sort this whole thing out in his mind. He was still half expecting to wake up and find this whole experience had been some strange alcohol induced dream.  The sheer weirdness of it all was making his headache worse.

Jack brought them their food a few minutes later and set Alex’s down last with a wink.  Alex did not blush, he didn’t no matter what Rian or Zack might have said.

The diner had begun to fill up with more customers so Jack didn’t stay and talk to Zack some more for which Alex was grateful. There were only so many times he could embarrass himself in one morning. Rian and Zack talked while Alex silently pushed pancakes around on the plate. He couldn’t contribute to the conversation even if he tried. He was too busy trying to watch Jack as subtly as he could without looking like a massive creep.

There was a small hope that maybe Jack would turn around, really notice him and then somehow recognize him too. As the morning progressed it became apparent that wasn’t going to happen and Alex couldn’t help but be a tiny bit disappointed at that.

He couldn’t come up with more than non-complete thoughts and endless questions of how? And why and what?  How was this even possible?

For a moment he considered telling Rian and Zack, maybe they could help him. But then he imagined actually telling them and yeah it sounded crazy. There was no way to put it that it sounded well, not insane so that idea was out.  He hadn’t realized how much time had passed when he looked over and saw that Rian and Zack had finished and were getting up to leave. Leaving his untouched pancakes he stood and absently followed Rian outside when he saw Zack wasn’t with them.

“What’s Zack doing?”

“Didn’t you hear him? He went to go pay and talk to his friend some more, said he wouldn’t be too long.”

A quick glance back towards the diner confirmed Zack was at the counter laughing with Jack about something. Alex wondered what they were talking about.  Rian was looking at him concerned again.

“Seriously what’s going on with you? Do really not feel that well, you didn’t eat anything when we were in there.”

Alex sighed and didn’t know how to reply.  _Yeah I’m just feeling a little weird because Zack’s friend is also the guy I have been dreaming about for the last few weeks so how does that work?_

“I think I just drank too much. My head is fucking killing me.” He rubbed a hand across his forehead emphasize his point. Rian nodded in sympathy before smiling.

“If you say the word lightweight I will actually punch you.” Alex attempted to put as much force in the threat as possible. It didn’t really work because Rian kept smiling.

“You’re the one that said it, not me.”

The diner door opened then and Zack was coming out, waving a goodbye to Jack.

“Hope you guys aren’t busy tomorrow night because we’re going out again.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alex asked a little alarmed because he was pretty sure he knew exactly what that meant.

“It means I invited Jack to come hang out with us. Jesus Alex, don’t look so scared it’s just a couple of drinks, well I guess for you that could be a little scary.”

Alex let the remark slide; he was too busy thinking of ways to get out of this and kept coming up blank. He couldn’t see Jack again; he had no idea how to act around him.

Rian laughed seeing Alex’s slightly panicked expression. “I think someone has a crush.”

Alex’s eyes widened and he couldn’t deny it fast enough. “No I just-“he was cut off by Zack.

“Don’t worry about it man I’m sure Jack would be flattered.”

“But I don’t-“Rian interrupted him this time.

“Just at least put a sock on the door or something if you bring him back to our place because as much as we’re good friends, I don’t want to see that.”

 Alex couldn’t stop the strangled sound of protest. He also kind of hated himself for blushing again because now the thought was in his head; Jack, back at his apartment, potentially without clothes.  He stopped that line of thought right in its tracks.

“Ahh relax Lexy, we’re just teasing.” Zack clapped him on the shoulder and then turned back to Rian. They started walking and their conversation again went unheard by Alex.

He realized it was going to be a lot more difficult to ignore his dreams now if he had to see the focus of them. His heart began to beat a bit faster when it hit him he was really going to see Jack tomorrow night and would have to actually say words to him. He honestly didn’t know what he was going to do.

*****

 

 

_They were at a bar._

_Not the usual place that Jack played in, this was somewhere new. It was the opening night of Jack’s friend’s, Matt, bar. It was going to be called MaCarthurs Pub and it was larger than most of the other clubs Alex had ever been in. Jack, Rian and Clara had all been invited to perform for the occasion and where Jack went, Alex wasn’t far behind._

_Alex sat at a small table with Clara while Rian and Jack were up at the counter getting them drinks. They had just finished performing and Jack had that look on his face he always did after he finished a show. It was happiness, pure and simple, like performing was a drug and he was still high on it. Alex watched as Jack laughed with Rian, a smile of his own forming when he saw how much Jack was enjoying himself. He always liked to see Jack smile._

_“You do that a lot you know.” Her voice had a southern lilt to it._

_Alex faced Clara confused. “Excuse me?”_

_“Lookin at him.” she nodded her head over in Jack’s direction,_

_Alex started fidgeting in his seat._

_“I’m not sure what you mean.” He cast his eyes downwards, keeping his gaze both off Clara and Jack. He looked back up though when he felt her come closer._

_“Now don’t get me wrong, he does plenty of his own looking. Swear to god he looks like a damn puppy sometimes when he lays eyes on you.”_

_Alex fought the blush that was rising to his cheeks; it really wouldn’t help his case right now. He could feel his palms start to sweat with nerves. What exactly was she trying to say?_

_“Ah hell, look at you. You’d think I was about to shoot you what with how nervous you look.”_

_“Clara please-“_

_“Listen to me Williams, after I say my piece you can speak but right now you need to shut up and listen.”_

_She held Alex’s gaze firmly, she didn’t look angry; just determined._

_“Now, I’ve known that boy since we were two teenagers naïve enough to think we could escape our troubles even if all we had was a couple instruments and an open road. I don’t know if I believe that but throughout all these years there has been one thing I could count on and that is Jack. Past all those… well inappropriate jokes and seemingly simple exterior beats one of the kindest hearts I have ever known.”_

_Both of them looked over to see Jack still waiting at the bar with Rian. For a quick moment he caught Alex’s eye and winked. Clara turned back to him then and smiled faintly._

_“Ever since he met you, he’s been…different. Before he was content with his life, it wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great either. And now well, it’s like he’s…pretty damn happy to say the least and I know you have something to do with that.”_

_Alex returned her faint smile with one of his own. This was the last thing he expected. At the very least he thought this conversation was going to go somewhere along the lines of her calling him disgusting and slapping him._

_Her face sharpened then and she leaned in a bit closer._

_“But I’m telling you now, I know Jack and once he finds something, something he really cares about he is loyal and loves that something fierce. It’s like with music, it’s one of the few things I know he is passionate about. And if you can’t or won’t be that serious then you sure as hell better leave now before you get in too deep.”_

_Too late, he thought, it’s too late, I already have._

_“I…I couldn’t leave even if I tried.” He honestly replied, never breaking their eye contact._

_She considered that. “As long as we understand each other, don’t you ever hurt him because don’t think I won’t do anything about it. Rian’ll back me up.”_

_As silly as it was, for just a second Alex was a little afraid of the red haired woman sitting in front of him with her piercing and serious gaze. She relaxed after a few seconds._

_“That being said, I like you and I’m glad you two found each other.”_

_“But you aren’t disgusted by this? By me?” Alex couldn’t help but quickly ask._

_She stared at him as if he was mentally slow._

_“Why in the hell would I be?”_

_Alex’s mind went blank, well wouldn’t she be?_

_“Because…this..everyone says it’s not right.” His eyes darted over to look at Jack again and he felt a pang of pain in his chest._

_“That so? Seems like everyone is a moron to me then.” She spoke so nonchalantly and lit up a cigarette. Alex felt the slightest bit amazed. Then he remembered something and smiled back at Clara as she took a long drag from skinny stick in her hand._

_“You’re wrong about one thing.”_

_“Oh? And what would that be?” She blew the smoke out of the side of her mouth and raised her eyebrows expectantly._

_“It’s not naïve to think you can deal with your problems through music.”_

_She just smiled and shook her head a little. “Well damn, looks like you two are better suited than I thought.”_

_Before Alex could ask her what she meant by that, Jack and Rian came back to the table and set their drinks down; only to pull Alex and Clara to their feet._

_“What the hell do you to think you’re doing?” Clara started protesting as Rian lead her to where a small group was gathering in front of the bar counter._

_“Now Clara, that’s no way for a lady to speak.” Jack teased as he led Alex through the crowd._

_“Yeah? Well if I see one round here I’ll be sure to let her know.” She said back sarcastically._

_“Ah don’t start that you two, Matt wants us all to be in this big group picture to commemorate tonight. He says he wants to hang it up on the wall behind the bar.” Rian interrupted as Jack was about to make another comment._

_They all stood with a few other staff members and some patrons, squished together as everyone tried to fit into the frame. Jack leaned over to speak lowly in Alex’s ear._

_“I’m glad you’re here.”_

_The counter was digging uncomfortably in Alex’s backside and a flash bulb went off, capturing the moment when Alex automatically smiled at the words. As the people around them started to disperse now that the picture had been taken, he turned to face Jack properly._

_“I’m glad I’m here too.” He smiled at the brunette._

_“You know if we weren’t here surrounded by all these people I would kiss you.”_

_“Jack!” Alex quietly hissed, turning his head to see if anyone had overheard._

_“Relax Lex, we’re fine.” Jack discreetly brushed his fingers over the back of Alex’s hand. It was the most he could to reassure him when they were still out in public like this. “You wanna get out of here?” he asked, gesturing to the back door._

_“Actually there was something that I wanted to do…”_

_Ever since Alex had walked in and noticed that Matt had set up a record player, he was itching to go over and see if he had that song, the one he and Jack were talking about from before._

_“I’ll be back, just stay right here.”_

_“I wouldn’t dream of moving.” Jack mock saluted him and he laughed as he walked over the player._

_He flipped through the records and found what he was looking for. Happy with his success he moved to put the record down and adjusted the needle. He smiled to himself as he wondered what Jack’s reaction would be when he heard what it was. Alex could see him grinning in his head, one of those unexpected smiles that you can’t help. Then he would walk over to Alex and insist that they leave right **then** and Alex wouldn’t hesitate and they would probably go to Jack’s room, or maybe they wouldn’t make it and end up against a tree again… Either way, Alex felt anticipation and warmth well up in him._

_He heard an odd clicking sound._

_*****_

Alex stood behind the counter of the store after ringing up a couple of CD’s for a girl with bright red hair. The color reminded him of Clara’s red hair which of course reminded him of the latest dream.

He could remember the conversation clearly and feel the brightness of the bulb and hushed words spoken against his ear if he tried hard enough. Actually it wasn’t even that hard, lately he was always so exhausted that all he had to do was close was his eyes and he could easily slip into half sort state of awareness and recall the details of the dreams. And with every dream that passed the lines of reality blurred a little bit more, it was getting harder to tell apart his feelings when he was dreaming and when he was awake.

Then there was Jack to deal with. As if it wasn’t frustrating enough that the dreams left him feeling drained and the scar on his hand stabbing with pain, he now had to deal with a man who appeared to be the very thing he had been desiring for weeks. It felt like he was fighting with himself, two sides arguing loudly inside his head.

There was a part of him, some part that had been awakened when he first began to have these dreams, that  _wanted_ Jack so badly. When he first saw him at the diner he had been too shocked to even register this want. After having a day to let it really sink in he didn’t know how to ignore it. The other part of him, the more rational part, knew this fervent desire was crazy. He didn’t even know this Jack for fucks sake, he had barely spoken two words to him when they met and the only reason he felt like he had already known him for years was because of his stupid dreams. In reality there was no logical reason to believe that the man he dreamed about and the man he saw in that diner yesterday were the same person.

At the same time though that didn’t seem to matter to the want curling low in his stomach. Alex remembered an infectious grin and skilled hands. He heard the bell ring, signaling another customer because yeah he was still at work and not the time to be getting turned on.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts he turned to face the new person as he spoke.

“Hey do you need help with…”

Aw shit.

His sentence trailed off as he saw no one other than Jack himself confidently striding up to the counter. He was wearing a black jacket over a light blue shirt and his dark jeans clung to his legs. Alex suddenly wished he had taken the time this morning to find something other than the worn out Blink-182 shirt and questionable cleans jeans he was wearing.

“Hey, Alex right? You're Zack’s friend?”

Alex dumbly nodded, words failing him yet again. He couldn’t help it, all of a sudden euphoria was added to the desire and it was overpowering all his thoughts with  _JackyesJackJackit’sreally **Jack.**_

 _Say something!_ The rational part of mind shouted over everything else.

“I, uhm yes hi, I’m Alex, Zack’s friend that is and yeah...hi.” Never in his life had Alex wanted to slap himself more. He was never this awkward and now in the two brief encounters they had Jack probably thought Alex didn’t know how to interact with the human race. But he just continued to smile over at Alex, leaning casually against the counter.

“Right, is Zack here? He mentioned this place the other day and I figured today’s my day off so I might as well check it out.” He gestured around the little shop. The empty shop. Except for the two of them and no that was exactly where his head needed not to go.

Alex cleared his throat and attempted to sound normal. “He actually isn’t here right now, but I think he works tomorrow afternoon if you want to come back then?”  

He tried to keep his gaze off of Jack but it was like he was drawn to him, he couldn’t help soaking up every single detail about him. The way his black hair was messily styled, the blonde again surprised Alex. How he had the lightest bit of stubble, like he was a day or two late in shaving. How his eyes were the exact shade of warm brown he remembered them to be.

“Maybe I will, it’s probably for the best. I can’t stay here too long anyways thanks to Zack taking over my plans for tonight.” Jack replied easily, a teasing tone to his voice.

“Yeah he doesn’t really take no for an answer.” Alex said looking back down at the counter.

“That’s Zack alright, not that I ever really need a lot of convincing to go out for a drink.” Jack winked at him as he finished his sentence and Alex laughed nervously.

“So I guess I’ll be seeing you tonight then?” Alex asked.

“Definitely and by the way your shirt is pretty damn awesome.” Jack looked pointedly at his chest.

“What?” Alex glanced down himself. “You like Blink?”

“Hell yes, who doesn’t?” The genuine excitement in Jack’s voice caused Alex to look back up at him and smile widely.

“They’re one of my favorite bands, they’re actually one of the reasons I wanted to start a band so bad in college.” Alex thought back fondly on the memory.  

“No shit man seriously? I know exactly what you mean.” Alex had leaned a little closer over the counter when Jack spoke. His heart fluttered at the fact this was as close as he had ever gotten to Jack and if he were lean all the way over the small counter he would be able to press their mouth together.

Fuck, he had to stop doing that, it wasn’t helping anything.  He made himself take a quick, unnoticeable step back before he continued talking.

“Oh yeah, Zack mentioned something about you being in a band yesterday didn’t he?”

Jack laughed and Alex was puzzled by the reaction.

Yeah if you can call it that, it’s more me playing guitar as I try and find someone on the road to play with. Zack wasn’t kidding when he said I went through a lot of singers.” Jack replied with a shrug of his shoulders.  Alex remembered what Zack had said yesterday, “Let _me guess you slept with her, got bored and the “exciting tour life” wore off”._

“You just really picky or…?” Alex stopped when he realized what he was implying. It really wasn’t his place to ask Jack if he slept around with the girls who sang for him. In fact he really didn’t need to know the answer, for some reason the thought was making his chest ache again and seriously that needed to stop. Jack startled him with another laugh.

“No it’s not what you think. I mean sure there were a couple of people where things got a little heated and that’s why it didn’t work out but honestly it’s because I can’t seem to find someone else who wants it to be more than just a few night performing at some club you know?”

Unfortunately Alex did know; it’s why his various attempts at starting a band never really worked out. No one else took it quite as seriously.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Alex smiled softly at Jack in understanding.

The moment stretched on for a few moments longer than strictly necessary and Alex ignored the tiny pang of disappointment when Jack turned away.

“I should really be going, I’ll see you later.” He gave a small parting wave and Alex watched as he left.   Probably too quiet for Jack to hear over the bell ringing from the door he spoke. “I’ll see you later…”

Something was bothering Alex from their conversation. He hadn’t really thought about it yesterday when Zack brought it up but Jack played guitar and toured around. It was another aspect about him that was too much like the Jack from his dreams. What the hell was happening?

*****

 

As soon as the last person had gone home and it was time for Alex to leave, he quickly locked up the store and went home as fast as he could. He didn’t waste time thinking about the annoying trek up the stairs and when he reached his apartment he was relieved to find he was alone.

He had made up his mind to make sense out of this whole mess and he wasn’t sure what he was going to find but he knew he preferred to be alone while he did it. His stomach felt uneasy with nerves as he sat down on the threadbare couch in his small living room.  The black laptop on his lap whirred to life and he typed in the password.  He figured the internet was as good a place as any to do this.

It was unreasonable to feel so nervous right now, he didn’t even know what he was going to find. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what he was looking for. Whatever it was he had to do it quick because Rian was going to be back any second telling him they had to go meet Zack and Jack.

At least he knew where to start; he had his latest dream to thank for that. One moment of hesitations passed before typing in MaCarthurs Bar. Ignoring any doubts he might have, he hit enter and looked over the search results. The first sites listed seemed to be about a MaCarthurs Bar in New York that appeared to be quite popular. After a half hour of looking through pages of results he couldn’t find the right MaCarthurs.

He ran a hand through his hair, a movement he did when he was frustrated or on edge. Right now he was both; he leaned back and thought. Perhaps he could add something else to the search; but what else? He couldn’t remember where it was or who the bar owner was, something starting with M, he wasn’t sure.

Maybe this was a sign he should stop, obviously none of this was real and he was insane or something. He rested his head against the back of the couch and sighed, looking up at the ceiling. The white and bumpy ceiling stared back, mocking him and his fruitless search results. He closed his eyes and tried to think of something else that could help him.

 Wait, didn’t he know the year, or roughly the year it was anyways.  He added 1940’s to the search box. On the second page he found something about a MaCarthurs Bar in 1938 and opened the link.

It was a news article; the headline read “Tragedy Strikes New Business”.  The article went on to detail whatever it was that meant but the words looked fuzzy to Alex. His focus had been immediately drawn to the picture featured; everything else didn’t seem to matter. He felt a surge of nausea as he saw his own face smiling back at him. Jack, looking every bit as beautiful as he always did, standing right next to him.

 So what this meant that everything, his dreams, all of it was real? And what the fuck did that even mean that somehow he had been with Jack and his dreams really were memories of it? His eyes began to water from not blinking for so long and he heard the blood rushing in his ears.

He had no clue how long he sat there looking at the picture. It was long enough to Rian to come home though. Alex heard the door unlocking and he quickly shut the laptop. He still hadn’t read anything from the article.

“Holy shit are you okay?” he faintly heard Rian asking.

Alex didn’t know what kind of expression was on his face right now. Something that said:   _No, I’m not really feeling too good I just found out that Jack and I were apparently lovers in some other life and I have no idea what to do with that information and all I do know is when I even think about seeing him all I want to do is shove him up against a wall._

“Yeah, I think I need to eat something. I haven’t eaten all day and I’m feeling…a little weird.” His voice sounded distant in his own ears.

“You can probably get something when we meet up with Zack, I’m pretty sure that place we went to had some kind of menu.” Rian was talking loudly from the kitchen and wasn’t looking at Alex anymore, it sounded like he was looking for something in the cupboards. Alex took his momentary distraction to get up and leave, hoping to avoid any other questions.

“I probably will, just give me a few minutes before we leave.” He didn’t wait for Rian to say anything and made his escape to the bathroom. He shut the door firmly behind him.

He leaned back against the door and sank to the ground. His thoughts kept going around in circles and refused to come together to make sense.  With a deep, albeit shaky, breath in he forced himself to relax.

First of all, he was seeing Jack again tonight and he couldn’t be this freaked out when he did. Beneath all the confusion he realized something, he had somehow been able to remember Jack, but Jack clearly didn’t remember him. It didn’t matter that in this life they had just met, to him it felt like they had already been together and now it turned out they actually had been together.

 And it wasn’t fair that he was being forced to remember all this, remember Jack and how much he cared about him only to still end up alone.

 He didn’t want to dwell too much on that fact right now; it made his chest ache annoyingly again.

Instead he started wonder how any of this was possible. Then again did that even matter, it was happening and he couldn’t change that. He just…had to find a way to deal with it.

“Alex? You in there?” Rian knocked on the door and startled Alex out of his thoughts.

“Yeah man, I’ll be right out.” He called back.

“Hurry up we gotta leave soon, don’t want to be late for your man date do you?” Rian joked.

“It’s not a date.” Alex quietly said but Rian had already left. Probably to get his jacket so they could go.

A little unsteady on his legs, Alex stood and rinsed his face with some cold water. He looked back at his reflection in the mirror and saw how fatigued he looked. There were dark circles under his eyes and his face looked thinner than usual, the beginnings of a beard forming since he had neglected to shave for a few days.

“What the hell am I going to do?”

His reflection didn’t give him any answers and he sighed as he dried himself off.

Well, he had done a good job so far of pretending the dreams weren’t affecting him, what were a few more hours. He didn’t know exactly how he was going to deal with all this yet. For now he was going to push it out of his head so he didn’t end up telling Jack everything the second he saw him, or worse stick his tongue down his throat.


	3. Chapter 3

 

****

                

The bar they were in was low key, a classic rock song played in the background and the clinking of pool cues could be heard in some far corner. They had all been there for roughly an hour and a half now and Alex found that drinking really helped to loosen oneself up. It made it easier to forget all those confusing feelings he had and enter a kind of contented state of denial.

Having Rian and Zack there proved to be a useful distraction too; sure when he first saw Jack his heart sort of jumped into his throat and he couldn’t remember how to swallow. But after sitting down and a few minutes of stilted conversation followed by the wonderful consumption of alcohol, things seemed to relax and Alex actually managed to enjoy himself; if he didn’t think too hard about the situation he was in.

Jack had gone on to detail what touring was like and what kind of music he played. Alex was glad to find that he and Jack seemed to share pretty similar music tastes, which really was all you needed to know about someone to judge what kind of person they were. Well maybe not just that, but it was pretty important, at least to Alex.

 From what he understood about touring, the kind that Jack did anyways, consisted of sleepless nights on the road, too much Taco bell, dick jokes, coffee, women, music, and not enough showering. Most of the stories he told made them laugh and it prompted Zack to start telling them stories of his own from when he first met Jack.

“He is one of the most persistent sons’ of bitches I have ever met; seriously do you remember that one night you convinced that guy from Starbucks to come out with us? What was his name, John? No it was James!” Zack paused from a particularly loud laugh.

“I don’t think I know what you’re talking about.” Jack said as he looked back down at his drink.

“Sure you don’t. For at least two weeks we went to that Starbucks every time that guy worked so that Jack could try and flirt with him and every time he was shot down but eventually Jack got him to come get drinks with us one night, god know what you said to him for that to happen.”

“What? Two guys can’t go out for a couple beers as friends these days?” Jack feigned innocence.

 “A couple beers? Jack you must have given that kid half the bar to drink, oh god you guys should have been there. ‘But J-Jack I’m straight!”  Alex could hear Rian try and stifle his amusement, Zack continued on in an overly charming voice in what must have been his impersonation of Jack. “Sure you are baby, you want another drink?”

Both Zack and Rian were laughing in earnest. Jack shrugged and grinned suggestively back at them.

“Well can you really blame me? That guy had a great ass, and for the record my voice does not sound like that.”

Zack hadn’t stopped laughing enough to reply, Alex suspected his fourth beer on an empty stomach had something to do with that.

Alex hadn’t finished his first yet (he  _wasn’t_  a lightweight, he wasn’t). But that had more to do with Jack than anything else. He was paying more attention to him than most of what was happening around them. It was strange that despite a few difference, Jack really wasn’t all that different from the man he remembered in his dreams. It was screwing with his mind, everything about Jack the way he looked, the way he held himself, even the way his voice sounded and how he talked was way too eerily similar to the other Jack. All of it just made Alex want to scream in frustration.

Suddenly Jack stood from their small booth and left a few bills on the table. Alex tried not to think about how endearing it looked as he fumbled with his wallet trying to get the money out.

“Look guys this has been a really great night, we should do this again sometime but I have to go. My dick of a boss has me opening tomorrow and that means getting up early as fuck to do it.”

“You say the word dick a lot.” Alex remarked out loud and Jack gave him a look that was downright indecent.

“Like you’re one to talk.” He shot back.

“He’s got a point there Lexy.” Rian faced him seriously and poked him in the arm.

“Ooh Lexy is it? That a fun pet name we all get to call you by?” If possible, Jack’s grin seemed to grow wider. Alex groaned.

“Jesus fuck no, don’t you have to be leaving?”

“You got me there, but don’t think this is over  _Lexy._ I’ll see you guys around.” Jack left the table and Alex looked up, his gaze following him through the bar to the door. His annoyance over the nickname was forgotten. He stood up and put his jacket on, leaving a couple crumpled fives by his drink.

“Actually you guys I think I’m going to head out too, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He pretended not to hear Rian when he called after him.

“Alright but just remember what I said! Sock on the door! And for the love of god use protection!” Zack burst out laughing again and Alex continued to pretend he didn’t know them. A few other people just looked at them in confusion.

 _Fuckin’ weirdos_  he thought, but it was meant in a friendly way, mostly.

He forgot about Zack and Rian when he went outside and nearly ran into Jack.

“Shit man! I’m sorry, are you okay?”

Jack chuckled and steadied him, holding onto his arm. Alex could feel the warmth of his fingers through his jacket.

“Don’t worry I’m fine, are you okay? You seem to be in a rush to get out of there. Eager to see me again so soon?” He lightly teased, he still hadn’t let go of Alex’s arm.

 _Yes_ , the irrational part of him wanted to answer. Instead Alex said, “No, I just remembered that I had an early day tomorrow and I should probably head home too.” It sounded sort of lame to him but Jack’s smile didn’t waver and he eventually released Alex’s arm. Cool air immediately chased away any traces of his touch.

“Well looks like we are both pretty lame tonight. That’s another thing that I miss about being on the road, there was no job in the morning that you had to go to sleep early for.”

“Sound nice.” Alex agreed and he made himself take some steps back so they weren’t so close.

Jack returned to what he was doing before Alex had walked into him. That turned out to be looking up directions on his phone. “I don’t suppose you know how to get to those apartments by Russell Street from here?” he asked, the dull light from his phone casting stark shadows on his face.

“Yeah that’s actually not too far from where me and Rian live, it’s not that far of a walk. Oh wait did you drive here because-“

“Zach and I walked here from his place.” He cut in raising a hand, “lead the way.”

“Right.” Alex sort of muttered to himself because how was this happening, he didn’t know what he was expecting to happen when he followed Jack out here but he certainly didn’t think he was going to end up walking him home.

“Don’t look so nervous Alex, I’m not gonna jump you or anything.” Jack’s voice was light and joking.

 _If only_ , the thought made itself known giving him no chance to stop it and he sighed to himself.

They walked down the gray streets in a comfortable silence for a little while. Without anyone else around it was different, the quiet of the evening making everything seem more intense. Alex wanted to say something but he wasn’t sure what, the two sides of him were fighting again.

_Tell him how beautiful he looks._

_Don’t do that it sounds weird._

_Why not? It’s what you’re thinking._

_Yeah but he doesn’t have to know that._

_Tell him the truth._

_Don’t say anything he will think you are insane._

_Just push him into that alley up there and kiss him._

_Jesus Christ, do NOT kiss him._

“Do you believe some things are beyond our control?” Alex blurted out.

Jack cocked his head and considered the question.

“What do you mean like the supernatural?”

“I..uh guess yeah.” Alex kind of regretted asking now. He looked down at his shoes, the sidewalk disappearing with each step. He waited for Jack’s answer.

“Well why not? I mean I don’t know if I believe there are werewolves and vampires and shit running around but at the same time it’s not like we know everything there is to know about the world so I think there’s always the possibility that there is something…more out there. Does that make any sense?” Jack smiled embarrassedly.

“I get what you’re saying.” Alex smiled back to reassure him. And really he did get it, because how else could he explain his dreams.

 Jack pushed his shoulder good naturedly against Alex’s. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

Jack stayed close from where he had stepped into his personal space. Their hands brushed every couple steps or so and Alex’s fingers twitched to hold on to Jack’s.  

“Do you believe there are things out of our control?” His voice was pitched lower and Alex felt a tingle shoot down his spine from the sound. Unknowingly he replied in the same way, his voice lower and rougher.

“I’d never thought much about it before…but I think I might now.”

“Yeah? What changed?”

The air seemed thicker around them, almost charged and Alex swallowed hard from it. He wanted to reach out and just  _touch._

“It’s sort of a long story.” He hedged. There was no way to tell the truth without Jack being concerned for his mental health.

“Did a ghost start haunting you or something?” the teasing returned and lightened the air around them, if only marginally so. 

“Or something.” Alex said, sounding slightly sad.

Jack didn’t seem to notice though because Alex nearly walked into him again when they turned to walk down the last stretch of road. Alex righted himself not wanting Jack to steady him again, he wasn’t sure he would allow Jack to let go this time.

“Sorry I don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight. My head is just…somewhere else I guess.” He apologized, running a hand through his hair.

“Hey don’t worry about it, we all have those days right?”

“Some of us more than others.” Alex sighed again; he was doing that too much lately.

“Yeah some days can be well, shit but really all you can do is what makes you happy to make them better and screw everything else you know?”

Alex shifted his gaze to look at Jack and his heart stuttered in his chest because fuck; the easy smile was still on his lips and he looked so carefree. It was all _so_  similar to the Jack he knew.

_I love you. I still love you._

It was the only thing he could hear in his head, the only thing he could feel in his body, like he had been struck by some giant lightning bolt that left him quivering and his insides all messed up.

And wasn’t that just fucking great. Because it still didn’t change anything, it didn’t make the damn ache in his chest leave because Jack didn’t remember anything.

Jack noticed his none too subtle staring and his eyebrows creased in concern.

“Dude are you okay?”

Alex blinked and rubbed a hand across his face, coming back to himself and wondered if he could get any more awkward around the other man.

“People keep asking me that a lot lately.” His voice sounded even rougher and damn it he needed to get a grip.

“Maybe if you didn’t look like you were about to pass out any second nobody would ask you, just a suggestion though.” Jack stopped in front a tall, dark brown building. “Looks like we’re here, and you never answered me.”

Alex laughed a little, and it was only slightly hysterical. “Yeah I’m fine, like I said it’s been one of those days.”

Jack nodded in sympathy and patted his shoulder. “Get some sleep alright? And thanks for showing me the way back here.” He sounded grateful and Alex avoided looking at his face, staring down at the ground again. No doubt his brown eyes would look as sincere as he sounded.

“Don’t mention it, have a goodnight Jack.”

“Goodnight Alex.” He squeezed Alex’s shoulder lightly and then let go, walking up the steps and disappearing into his apartment building.

The entire walk home all he could think about was how truly and utterly fucked he was.

When he reached his own apartment to find the four flights of steps waiting for him he was hopeful that maybe in addition to his little stroll with Jack, walking up all these steps would tire him out so much that he wouldn’t dream that night. It was probably a useless hope, that wasn’t going to stop him from wishing it would happen though.

That’s also why he tried to keep his mind carefully blank when he lay down to go to sleep. The stairs had tired him out, that much was true. So it wasn’t all that difficult to fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. All he wanted was one night of peace; he would deal with all this weird and crazy tomorrow but right now he needed just one night of rest. His last conscious thought before he really drifted off was that Rian still wasn’t home, maybe he was spending the night at Cassadee’s again.

 

****

 

 

_He heard an odd sort of clicking and turned to see what it was._

_“We don’t want any trouble; everyone just put their hands up and put all their valuables in the bag. No one has to get hurt.”_

_A second gun was cocked and Alex froze, his back turned to the robbers and his mind numbing with panic. His stomach rolled over and his pulse began to thunder in his ears. He willed himself not to throw up and slowly turned around. The only thing he had of any worth was his watch and he fumbled with the clasp as a brown, burlap bag was thrust into his shaking hands. It appeared that there were three men involved in the robbery. Each of them wore baggy dark blue suits with fedoras pulled down their faces a bit so it was difficult to get a clear view of what they looked like._

_Two of the men stood with pistols aimed at the crowd of people as the third, armed with his own gun, went around with the bag. The man smelled of tobacco and stale sweat Alex aimlessly thought when he silently handed over his watch. A couple of women were stifling sobs in the corner. He wasn’t paying them much attention though; his concentration was locked onto Jack._

_The guitarist looked pale and like he was about to be sick. His eyes were wide with fear as they met Alex’s and Alex desperately wished he could somehow be over there with him. He wanted to feel one of those reassuring touches Jack would always give him against the back of his hand or the small of his back. Jack seemed to be able to calm his nerves in every one of those seemingly insignificant touches that said “you’re okay, relax.”_

_Then Alex noticed something else. Matt was standing behind Jack and was gradually reaching for something from behind the counter. His movements were so minute and cautious that nobody else seemed to have noticed what he was doing._

_Fuck Matt don’t do it, let them leave. Alex fervently tried to think at him once he realized that Matt was going for the revolver he kept behind the cash box. Earlier he had proudly shown it to all of them, saying something about how he wouldn’t tolerate any kind of crap that would happen in his bar. Alex hadn’t thought much of it at the time._

_“What the hell are you doing?”_

_The thief closest to him turned his attention to where Matt was. His voice was deep and menacing, cutting through the air as he aimed his gun. Alex willed Jack to duck, to move, to get the fuck out of the line of fire now._

_“Lift your hands where I can see them.” The man demanded._

_Matt looked distressed and Alex could feel a sense of cold dread growing and sitting heavily in his bones._

_Matt moved quickly and dove behind the bar to get the revolver. A sudden gunshot and for a moment there was silence. Then the realization of what happened sunk in and chaos was all around him, a flurry of people. The robbers escaped in the clamor and Alex fell to his knees in shock. The numb hadn’t left and he looked down to see if maybe it was him who was shot. But no, his white shirt was unstained.  He tried to stand and get to Jack so they could get the hell out of there too._

_It took a couple tires, but he stood and tried to see past the crowd of people to where he had seen Jack. He spotted his face and smiled in relief, the other still looked far too pale, other than that he appeared to be fine. He called to him over the commotion; Jack didn’t seem to hear him. A few more people moved so that Alex could finally get a clear view of him._

_Time stopped._

_In that single moment, everything was quiet and the colors seemed to fade from the world. The only thing he could see was the bright red that was growing larger on Jack’s side. Jack was holding onto the counter in support but it was clear his grip was weakening._

_Alex saw him reach down to feel for his wound and pull his hand away with more of that sickening red stained to his fingers. He looked over at Alex and the terror only grew in his eyes. His legs gave out and he fell to the ground, one of his hands pressed to his side. Then more people rushed around Alex trying to get to an exit and he lost sight of Jack._

_As soon as he couldn’t see him anymore the world roared back into focus. Everything was too loud and sharp, people kept crying out around him and he had to **move** he had to get over there and do something. He snapped out of his shocked state and went straight into an adrenaline filled, panicked one. Suddenly he was fighting against the mob instead of being carried away by it._

_A number of half formed things went through his head. All at once he was feeling angry and confused, hurt and fear. ‘God damn it Jack you don’t get to fucking do this to me. You don’t get to say we’re going to be together so screw everything else and then **leave.’**_

_It didn’t matter that he was violently pushing people out of his way or that someone was now trying to drag him away. He couldn’t see who it was; he tried to push them off, he couldn’t give a fuck if they were trying to help him right now because he hadto get to Jack. That was the only thing that mattered._

_“Get off!” He snarled and then turned to punch whoever it was as hard as he could. He didn’t recognize the man and he let as soon as Alex’s fist made contact with his arm. The man might have called him a damn psycho or something along those lines but Alex didn’t register it. He was almost to the bar’s counter and why did it feel like it was so far away, like the distance grew the harder Alex fought to close it._

_Struggling past the last couple of people, Alex collapsed at Jack’s side. He half pulled Jack into his lap and pushed aside the sweat slick strands of black hair._

_“Jack you are going to be fine, do you hear me?” He tried to sound firm and strong but his voice trembled so it just made him sound weak and desperate._

_“H-hurts Lex.” Jack sounded raspy, his breaths sounding wet and hacking as blood spilled over onto his lips. A grotesque pain cracked through Alex’s chest at the sound._

_“I know it does okay, but you just need to keep your eyes open until help can come. Could y-can you please do that for me?” Something raw and rough was clawing at him and he pressed a hand over Jack’s on his wound, trying force the blood back inside of him and getting frustrated when it continued to leak and stain their clothes._

_“I…I think m’fine now…doesn’t really hurt too bad ‘nymore.” Jack slurred his words and his eyes were drooping closed. Alex rested his forehead against Jack’s and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop any tears from coming out._

_“Please just stay here with me for a little while longer.” Alex quietly pleaded, he gently kissed Jack’s temple and willed him to stay awake._

_“Shh, don’t...like seein you sad Lex, I’m okay...” The light grip he had on Alex slackened to nothing. His brown eyes fluttered closed and Alex stayed, holding him close._

_Everything happened so quickly and yet it still felt like an eternity. The record player scratched to a stop as the song came to an end._

_‘But in your dreams, whatever they be  
Dream a little dream of me’_

_****_

Alex woke up sitting ramrod straight in his bed. The sheets were damp with sweat and his cheeks were wet from tears that weren’t his. Everything fucking hurt.

His head was throbbing, his heart felt like it somehow had been cut into pieces and now the edges were sharp and tearing at his chest. His scar pulsed with the worst pain he had felt yet form it and the tears  _still_  wouldn’t stop.

 Adrenaline was still coursing through his veins and he didn’t even realize he was out his bed until he was shoving on the clothes he had on from earlier that night and was looking for his keys. The rational part of him was apparently asleep because the only thing that mattered in that moment was Jack and seeing him  _alive_  and breathing.

_Jack. I have to see Jack. I have to make sure he’s okay. Jack. Jack. Jack._

All the images of blood and wouldn’t leave him alone and it made him rush even more. He was stumbling through the dark trying to get his boots on in kitchen, ready to go out the door when he noticed the faint green light of the microwave informing him that it was 5:02am. There was a slight pause in his actions but only a slight one.

_The diner, he said he had to open it early._

_But 5am early?_  

Well, he was about to find out because he couldn’t just not go. It was good enough for him so he was out the door and nearly ran down the stairs when he noticed something else. In the dim lighting of the hallways he saw the elevator was no longer blocked off which could mean only thing. It was finally fucking fixed.

Alex didn’t have time to be happy about that, he was impatiently pressing the buttons and then pacing inside the metal box as it brought him down. It felt too long and the agitation was twisting and growing. He was pretty sure he remembered where the diner was, it hadn’t been too far away from his apartment. When he got in his car, somewhere in the back of his head he knew this was utterly insane. No one did this; no one drove around trying to find a guy they met two days ago. It was easily ignored and drowned out by sheer need.

_JackJackJackJack_

It was a short drive, maybe that was a bad thing. Maybe if he had been forced to drive for a little longer he would have calmed down. Maybe he would be able to think clearly and figure out a better way to go about this. But that was the whole point, Alex wasn’t thinking clearly and he didn’t know what he was going to do when he got to that diner; all he knew was that he _needed_  to see Jack. And even that wasn’t a coherent thought; it was just a feeling, an ache in his bones, an unrelenting desire. Something that was innate to his being.

He sloppily parked his car across the street from the place, and didn’t think twice before crossing the road and trying the door. It was locked and the closed sign hung on in the window however the lights were on so someone had to be there.

 Alex knocked, probably too hard, on the glass and then a familiar head of dark brown hair popped out from behind a corner that led to the kitchen, or maybe it led an office Alex didn’t  _care,_ it didn’t matter. Once he actually saw him it was like a dam broke. All the exhaustion he had been feeling, all the confusion and want for weeks over someone he didn’t even think was real; he was tired of fighting it all.

“Alex?” Jack called, he looked confused and why wouldn’t he, if Alex were him he would be to. He started talking again as he opened the door.

“Hey man what are you doing here, nobody else is even here yet why-“

Alex didn’t let him finish the sentence, the second there was enough space for him to fit through the opening he all but lunged forward and took Jack by his plaid, button up shirt and crushed their mouths together.

Jack made a noise of surprise and held onto Alex’s arms, he wasn’t pulling him closer but he wasn’t pushing him away either. Alex just pushed further, the door swung shut as Alex pushed Jack up against the counter. He couldn’t get enough; he wanted to feel Jack everywhere, so he pressed their bodies together as much as he could. But Jack stopped him, he leaned back as far as Alex would let him and his brown eyes were wide with shock.

“Alex what are you doing?” he was a little breathless.

Alex dropped his head down to Jack’s neck and started kissing and tasting random spots, in between kisses he spoke.

“Please, I just…can’t get you out of my head…can’t you feel this…thing between us?” His voice sounded wrecked. It was impossible that Jack wasn’t able to feel how  _right_ this felt, how strong the pull was between them. His hands dropped hesitantly from Alex’s arms to his hips, and leaned his head back, offering Alex more of his neck.

“Fuck.” He sounded almost as desperate as Alex had, he might have deep down recognized Alex, recognized what they had once had and that’s why he gave in so quickly. Whatever the case was, the point remained he had given in and Alex was more than ready to take.

“ _Jack.”_  Alex reverently whispered into his skin. He brought their mouths back together and licked along the seam of Jack’s lips. Jack opened his mouth for him and he was eager to take advantage, to taste and suck, to explore the heat.  One of his hands tugged at the Jack’s hair, it was long enough that he could just barely twist his fingers in it, turning Jack’s head to delve even further. Harsh breaths came out his nose, but the thought of breaking their kiss was simply unacceptable. If it could even be called a kiss, now it was more tongues and lips, messily sliding and moving together. Alex could hear how wet and obscene it sounded, already half hard from it.

 Jack grew bolder and tightened his grip on Alex’s hips, bringing them closer together. Alex could feel him getting hard against his thigh and moaned because he  _wanted._ He wanted to feel Jack, see if he still liked the same things, liked it when Alex stroked his cock firmly and twisted his wrist so he could brush his thumb over the head.

He used his other hand to reach down and blindly start unbuckling Jack’s jeans. Jack reached out and held his wrist stopping him. He broke away with an almost imperceptible pop. “Not here, I don’t know if you noticed but we’re in the middle of a diner that has huge glass windows and I don’t know that I’m ready for the public at large to see my dick.” He had pushed him away again and Alex groaned in protest, leaning his forehead against Jack’s.

There was no physical way he could stop now; his heart pounded and he felt too hot in his clothes but he still couldn’t stop, not when he and Jack were both hard and wanting the same thing.

 “I need you.” He whispered and licked a stripe along Jack’s jaw from his earlobe to the side of his mouth. Despite Jack’s hand still on his wrist he pressed his palm over the obvious erection in the brunette’s pants and rubbed hard enough to tease and not give any real friction.

“Jesus Alex what are you doing to me?” The question came out raw sounding, Jack biting his bottom lip and holding onto Alex so hard it would leave bruises. “Just come here.” He squeezed Alex’s wrist and pulled him around the same corner he had come from earlier. Turned out it there was an office back there.  Jack led him into the small, dark room; it was a mess with papers littered over the surface of the desk and a couple chairs crowded around it.

Alex paid little attention to these detail and turned his focus back on Jack, eager to touch him again. Roughly, Alex pushed him against the closed door and reached for the lock, feeling satisfied when he heard it click into place. His hands were back on the guitarist and he wanted to feel the warm skin underneath the shirt. He all but ripped the buttons off the shirt trying to get them undone; Jack smiled at his impatience. There wasn’t any time for words. He was craving the feel of Jack’s skin on his as he finished with the last few buttons.

Before Alex could pull the shirt off his shoulders, Jack was pressing back at him until his back hit the opposite wall with a loud thud. Now Jack was urgently running his hands all over him, leaving a trail of kisses over his jaw, his neck, sucking into his skin and leaving marks. Alex savored every touch, wanting Jack to leave marks so it would leave physical proof of how much Jack wanted him.  With sure and fast fingers he was pulling Alex’s shirt up and over his head. Then they were pressed together, skin on skin, chest to chest and heat flushed through Alex; desire writhing inside him and clouding his thinking. It was Jack’s turn then to unzip the other’s pants and started to push them out of the way so he could reach Alex’s cock.

Similar to how he was being teased earlier, he used enough pressure to give the barest hints of friction without giving anything more. Alex tried to push into the warm hand but Jack would move out of his grasp and it was maddening. Then he took his hand away completely.

“Fuck Jack _please”_ He was so far gone already. Jack lined their hips up so the hard line of Alex’s erection met Jack’s and  _yes_   _just like that_. Jack began to shallowly thrust against him. He still held Alex firmly against the wall, not letting Alex move.

“What do you want?” Jack breathed against his ear.

 _Everything_. Alex wanted to feel everything.  _I want to be inside you, I want you inside me. I want your mouth on me, and then I want to taste you and know how it feels when you come inside my mouth._

He wanted it all but he didn’t want to waste any time trying decide what he wanted more.Taking back control he shoved Jack foreword until the brunette’s knees hit the back of the desk and still didn’t stop until he had Jack lying down with his back on the desk. He heard papers crinkling and the desk creak a little as he settled on top of the other man.

  
“Just like this, I want to see your face.”

Jack moaned loudly in appreciation, widening his legs so Alex rest between them. Not even trying to think anymore, Alex shoved his jeans down as much as he could. Jack did the same and their pants ended up tangled around their thighs.

 Alex couldn’t wait anymore. He couldn’t take the time to take the rest of their clothes off because Jack had pulled their hips close together again and was grinding up against him. He threw his arms around Alex’s neck and pulled insistently until their lips were connected.

Pleasure pitched and surged through every ounce of his being and Alex wanted to cry with how good it felt. He gasped and choked out what must have sounded like a bunch of nonsense to Jack. Most of it didn’t even make sense to Alex; it was like he wasn’t really himself.

“Shit Jack! Don’t know how long I wanted, how long I waited… fuck! I wanted you so fucking much but you were gone and it hurt so  _bad_ … now you’re here and I…ahh fucking hell!”

Jack didn’t seem to realize what he was saying right away, his hands were everywhere on Alex, his hair, his neck, his back. Alex clutched Jack’s hip with one hand and held onto the side of the desk with the other. He pushed just as frantically downwards and moaned even more curses against Jack’s jaw.

“M’ close Lex.” He panted and  _fuck._

Alex came undone at the familiar nickname and nearly screamed Jack’s name as his orgasm tore through him. For a second it looked like Jack’s eyes flashed with recognition but Alex didn’t register it. He gave into his shaking muscles and collapsed on top of the other. Jack wasn’t far behind and dug his nails into Alex’s back as he arched off the desk and came hotly between them with a broken groan.

 Alex listened to their heavy breaths and was unbelievably content.

 _“Alex_.” It was exactly how Alex had spoken Jack’s name earlier, so in awe and unbelieving that they were really together.

Then the exhaustion hit him again, his skin feeling hot and flushed.

“Your heart’s beating so fast.” Jack sounded worried now and he was trying to sit up but Alex couldn’t move. He was so tired all of a sudden.

His skin was fever hot and he might have been a little delirious, so many memories and moments were suddenly overwhelming him, his head felt like a mess and he wasn’t sure everything that just happened wasn’t another dream.

“I don’t want this to be a dream.” He mumbled, Jack’s plaid shirt was pushed halfway off his shoulder and Alex rested his head against where his skin was bare.

“Lex c’mon I need you to stay awake. You feel way too hot.” Jack was try to coax him to sit up, rubbing his back gently and patting his shoulder.

“If it is I don’t want to wake up.” It was hard to open his eyes now and the noise in his head was growing, too many voices overlapping, too much happening at once.

He thought he might have heard Jack swearing loudly but he wasn’t sure, he let the weariness and fatigue bring him under and before he was gone completely his mind was blissfully blank, it was a welcome change and then there nothing but black.

 

_****_

_Alex was on his third shot of whiskey and quickly moving onto his fourth. He ignored the burn; the amber liquid went smoothly down his throat._

_This is how he had taken to spending his nights and most of his days too. For the past couple weeks he had been coming into this dirty, run down pub and drinking until he couldn’t remember the exact shade of brown Jack’s eyes had been. The owner had come to recognize him, usually already having the first shot ready for him. Alex liked him, liked that he didn’t ask any questions about why Alex was determined to replace his blood with liquor. All that mattered to him was Alex was content to spend his money and time here. Sometimes Alex thought he might have given him an understanding look or two but before he could really think about he remembered he didn’t care and would toss back the small glass._

_Clara had been the one to find him. She hadn’t said anything, just took in the scene in front of her; Alex clinging onto something that was already gone. At first he had refused to leave Jack and stubbornly held him close. Clara had gently put a hand on his hand and then he met her eyes and in them he found understanding. She had lost someone she loved too._

_Sometimes Clara and Rian came with him here and they all drank and shared their grief. Lately it had just been him and that was probably better. It made it easier to forget when they weren’t there to remind him._

_And so it was on yet another night where Alex was finding comfort in his drink when he was approached by a woman with honey blonde hair pinned in a messy bun, with tendrils of hair falling gracefully around her face. She looked a bit older, with a few streaks of grey in the blonde. Her eyes were a very sharp shade of blue._

_“I can help you.” She said simply. Her eyes seemed to looking straight inside him and he felt uncomfortable._

_“Leave me alone.” Alex mumbled. He drank another shot and he could feel it loosening him up. Muddying his thoughts and bringing him to a wonderful state of denial._

_“You have such sad eyes for someone so young. You shouldn’t know such pain yet.” She sounded European, possibly French._

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to turn and completely ignore her then, but she reached forward with almost unnatural speed. She gripped his right hand firmly and didn’t let go when he tried to pull it back. She leaned closer so she could whisper in his ear._

_“You can have him back; I can bring him back to you.”_

_The alcohol was slowing his senses so he didn’t know if he was hearing her correctly._

_“Listen lady, I don’t know what you are trying to do but it needs to stop.” He kept trying to pull away but this woman was stronger than she looked, she had pulled something out from the folds of her dress. She spoke quickly in some foreign language._

_Then there was pain, blazing from his palm and he cried out._

_“What fuck did you do to me?” he demanded and he violently yanked his hand back. It was dripping with blood and he gingerly examined the area._

_She had cut his palm and pretty deeply, it bled profusely._

_“You’re insane.” He said between clenched teeth. The owner by then had been drawn over by his yell and saw the gash. Alex cringed as a cloth napkin was wrapped around his palm._

_“You’ll thank me.” And then she was gone before anyone could stop her, like she had never really been there. The gaping wound on Alex’s hand was unfortunate proof she had been._

_“Shit you should go get this stitched up, it looks bad.” The man was steadying Alex on his legs and talking about how there was a doctor just across the road. Alex wasn’t paying much attention as he was led outside. The pain had started to subside, starting to go as fast as it had come._

_“Do you need someone to go with you?”_

_Alex dazedly turned his attention to the owner and shook his head no to whatever he was asking. All he planned on doing was stumbling home and passing out, crazy women with knives be damned. He would keep his hand wrapped up and deal with it in the morning. At least it felt like it had stopped bleeding now. Without another word Alex was walking the way back home. It took him some time before he actually made it there. Being drunk and then getting attacked with a knife didn’t tend to help things._

_Once he reached his destination he collapsed onto his bed, not bothering to take his shoes off or change his clothes. His hand had stopped hurting._

_Curious, Alex peeled the napkin away to look at it again. A deep red scar greeted him and what the hell? He hesitantly pressed his fingers against it to see if he could feel any kind of pain._

_There was nothing, it had healed and become a part of skin and seriously what the fuck had the woman done to him. He held up the bloodied cloth and stared dumbly at it, he had just been bleeding so there no possible way it could have healed over and scarred already._

_‘I can bring him back to you’_

_Her words haunted him. She had sounded so sure._

_Alex didn’t dare let himself hope, that was one of the worst things he could be feeling right now. If you let yourself hope then you left yourself vulnerable to be taken apart all over again by disappointment. And what could he even hope for, Jack was gone and there was nothing in this world that could change that._

_Head still heavy with whiskey he passed out and for the first time in the past couple weeks he dreamed. He dreamed about himself, but it wasn’t really him. Just someone who looked like him. This Alex stood behind a counter and was surrounded by guitars and what looked like records only they were smaller, silver and in square cases. This Alex didn’t even know who Jack was._

_Alex could only wish to be so lucky; because if they had never met he wouldn’t be feeling like this._

_****_

 There was a beeping sound somewhere off to his left. Everything smelled too clean too, sterile and like industrial soap. Underneath him the bed was firm and uncomfortable. After a few failed attempts of opening his eyes, they finally complied and he blinked several times to clear the haze from his vision. He tried to pull up his right hand to rub at them and found it was attached to an IV.

 _Hospital,_ he realized,  _why am I in a hospital?_

“Who knew that sex with me was so great it would have this effect on you, I mean I know I’m good but I didn’t think I was that good. And we didn’t even do anything that exciting; can you imagine what will happen when we have proper sex?”

“Jack?” Alex asked, trying to sit up so he could get a better look of the room. He felt disoriented.

“I think you might blackout for weeks instead of a couple days.” The other man continued, sounding tired, like he hadn’t slept for few days. Then Alex managed to sit up as much as he could and got a better look at Jack.

Jack had faint bags under his eyes and his hair looked disheveled, like he had been tugging at it and leaving it to stick up at odd angles. His clothes looked wrinkled and slept in.

“How long have you been here? And how long have I been here, why am I even here?” Questions kept popping into his head the more conscious he became and now he was just really confused. Oddly enough though this was the first time in weeks he had woken up without feeling overtired and like all the energy had been sapped out of him while he slept.

Jack took his left hand into his and started to trace patterns onto the back of it, not meeting Alex’s eyes. He cleared his throat and spoke quietly.

“After we were together, you blacked out and your pulse was all over the place and your skin was so hot, it felt like you were burning and so I drove you here. They admitted you and gave you something for the fever; I think they said something about signs of extreme fatigue and nutrition deficiencies or something I can’t remember. I was…I was just really worried.” He admitted softly and then looked up.

Alex let it all sink in and then he remembered that yes he really had frantically rutted against Jack a couple nights ago, and on a  _desk_  for fucks sake, came in his pants like a teenager and then passed out. Embarrassment flooded through him and he dropped his face into the hand that Jack wasn’t holding and rubbed his forehead. He closed his eyes.

“Jesus Christ, Jack I am so sorry I really wasn’t myself, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.” Alex really hadn’t been thinking, he had been too caught up in his own desire.

“Why are you sorry? I wasn’t exactly opposed to any of it if you remember.”  He threaded his fingers through Alex’s then and held on tightly. “Would you look at me please?” Jack sounded too quiet, not like his usual bravado and charm. Alex turned to face him again.

“I…fuck I don’t know how to say this but I think I know what you were talking about. Before I mean. About how there is something between us. And then when we were talking about things beyond our control and I just I don’t know.” He stopped and made a noise of frustration, as if he wasn’t sure how to really explain what he was thinking. “It’s just, ever since that night I keep seeing you in my head.”

“What?” Alex asked, not quite understanding yet.

“But it’s not only you, I see both of us and sometimes we’re talking or we’re laughing or kissing and sometimes I’m playing a guitar and I can see you watching me and it all feels so…real. Look I know it sounds weird-“

“I dreamed about you before I even met you.” Alex said hastily interrupting. He wanted jump out of this bed and shout from the rooftops because  _yes_ Jack was remembering who he was.

“What?” Now Jack sounded confused.

“Before we met, in the diner I had been having these dreams for weeks about the two of us and at first I thought they were just dreams but then I saw you and wait! Do you have your phone?” The question seemed so random and Alex started searching for either his or Jack’s phone.

“Why do you need a phone?”

“There was this article I found and it had this picture and we were in it, it was taken the day of..of…” Alex didn’t finish the sentence, it wasn’t exactly him who had lived it but he dreamed it so vividly that it might as well of been him.

“The robbery, it was taken the day of the robbery.” Jack finished for him and Alex stopped.

“You remembered that?” It came out sort of hoarse sounding. He really didn’t want to be thinking about that dream in particular.

“Bits and pieces…fuck Alex I miss you. How insane does that sound? I haven’t even known you a week and it feels like I haven’t seen you in years.” Jack took his hand back again and brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss to his skin.

“I understand.”  Alex replied quietly. He felt the same way. He moved his hand so he could frame Jack’s face with it and caressed the soft skin of his cheek.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Alex murmured.

Jack smiled and replied easily, moving closer to Alex. “Me too.”

Then slowly, unlike the rushed and lust filled kisses of the past night they leaned in. Their noses brushed lightly before their mouths met again and then they were re-learning each other’s lips and tongues. It was tender and full of a slow burning passion, the kind of kiss only the most caring of lovers shared. Jack broke away from the kiss with a gentle bite to his bottom lip and then looked at Alex with a mischievous grin.

“You know Zack was telling me you had one hell of a singing voice.”

Alex smiled back and raised his eyebrows. “So?”

“So I think we should put it to good use.”  Jack winked; it almost looked strange because they were still so close together.  Before Alex could say anything back Jack leaned in and started kissing him again and any future plans were forgotten for the moment because Jack’s tongue in his mouth was proving to be a lovely distraction.

Alex thought he should probably tell Jack about his last dream, how all this was even possible because of some nutty, magical older woman.

Perhaps it didn’t matter though, because they had found each other again and that was what he cared about. They could potentially never really remember the other life they shared together either but Alex was content to begin this one and that was enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it all is, and as always comments are extremely appreciated so let me know your thoughts!  
> Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope you all liked it~


End file.
